On body parts...

I decided to commit to writing more because I love recording memories and thoughts.  I have a few fun ones tucked away that I decided needed to be documented...and shared in case anyone actually does read this. 

Having three daughters has not left much room for curiosity in terms of body parts.  Considering some of the inquiries that come from my girls' mouths, I am dumbfounded that they never asked 1. How babies are made (thank Gaaaawwwd) and 2. What is the difference between boys and girls.  Actually, they probably assume the answer to both questions is obvious:  Answer 1:  God (which is their answer to any unanswerable question and Answer 2:  Boys have short hair and girls have long hair, right?

Well, we've had two memorable conversations regarding the latter. 

The first dates back to when Brielle was two years old and Camryn was just a wee baby.  Up to this point, Greg could usually still pee with the door open and get into the shower without any disruptions.  One morning, I was making the bed, Brielle was playing in our room and Greg was getting ready to get into the shower.  Sorry for the visual, but it gets worse.  All I heard was the shower water running, the door open as he went to step in and Brielle screaming, "DADDY, WHAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR BUTT?" 

Horrified, Greg said, "I hope nothing!"

Side note:  Our girls call both the front and back a "butt."  I know it's wrong, but they just assumed and again, I just let them assume.  It came out of Brielle's mouth in one of her early days and we kind of just went along with it.  She's the oldest, so naturally everything she says is right, so the others just followed suit.

The best part is that Greg actually feared something was, unbeknownst to him, coming out of his butt as he stepped into the shower. 

Brielle has an almost frighteningly precise memory, but she did happen to block that one out.  Understandable. 

Fast forward to last summer when Brielle had just turned six and Camryn just turned four.  Camryn was attending "Water Week" camp at United Sports, where children ages 4-7 enjoyed various water activities, thus requiring bathing suits and the changing of clothes. 

One night during dinner, Camryn decides to kick off the family conversation with, "I saw someone's butt today."  (I knew exactly where this was going as soon as she said that because what other butt would be worthy of dinner conversation?  All of the other "butts" are totally old news in a family with four females).  Brielle said, "You did???"
I asked a barrage of, "How?  Why?  Was it a boy?" 
Camryn excitedly replied "Yes and it had a horn sticking out!"  She had such a satisfaction about sharing news that seemed to be "hot off the press."  Grinning and nodding.
As Brielle processed this new information, she asked, "What kind of a horn?"
I decided to intervene and try my best as my first awkward and uncomfortable conversation with my children.  I explained that boys have different body parts than girls and that boys even pee a different way than girls because they stand up.  Seemed like a good idea at the time, okay?  I was totally improvising. 
More confused looks coming from Brielle followed by, "Did the horn have a hole in it?" 
Camryn was already checked out and now focused on what I said about boys standing up to pee.  I actually forget how I addressed the "hole" follow-up question. 

I probably need to start putting more thought into how I answer questions and also stop panicking when they ask questions.  Are there classes for this type of thing?  If so, I need to pre-register because I suck at it.  At any rate, for the rest of the summer, every time they thought of a boy, saw a boy, etc, Camryn would say, "Mom, does Uncle Glenn stand up to pee?"  "Um...yeah, I guess?"  "Does Tom stand up to pee?" 

Lesson of the day: girls have two butts and boys have horns.