Crazy Mom, Super Dad

Just to avoid any major confusion up front, my husband is a superb.  He truly does amaze me with his character, humility, intelligence, writing skills (yes, that does go in this list), and unwavering selflessness.  His father skills deserve it's own sentence because his ability to make three little girls feel equally important, special and loved is something I wish I could bottle up and keep forever. 

End love song. 

Enter annoyed wife.

Just a few things here....things that drive me batty.  And after living with someone for 12 + years, you truly do learn when to pick your battles.  I learned before having kids, then I learned again after having kids because there is a lot less time to fight when you have three dependents.  So if there is going to be a battle, it'd better be a really important one because well, people, we are busy.   So I've chosen a much more productive outlet...complain about him in writing.  Sounds super productive and positive now doesn't it?

I suppose I'll begin with the freshest example.  Kitchen conduct.  I've always admired the couples who cook together.  Our best friends, in fact, are a great team in the kitchen.  Both enjoy kitchen activities and they work great together.  I'm sure the fact that Greg is not super obsessed with food and the fact that I am super obsessed with food plays a role.  But hey, not every relationship is perfect, right?  I'm sure he wishes I loved watching football about as much as I wish he'd enjoy cooking with me. 

So there is the occasional time he will enter the kitchen with good intentions.  He likes to cook breakfast.  I happen to love eating breakfast.  And if you can guess, at this point in our marriage, I've got my routine down, I know what I like and when I'm very hungry and Greg suddenly gets the "urge" to cook, I become very stressed out.  However, since my constant goal and consistent failure is being relaxed and cool, I always just go along with the activity and remind myself it's just one meal.  There are two more today, right?

I try to stay away because when he starts trying to toast English muffins while making eggs and cooking sausage, his multi-tasking timing scares me.  What if the English muffins are finished toasting long before the eggs are done???  What if he forgets about the English muffins and they burn up?  This is very serious.  As you can guess, after it's all said it done, I relax.  I do much better on a full belly. 

The issue that follows is the mess.  When the commander of the kitchen cooks, the commander knows how to clean prep dishes while cooking so that the end task is not as overwhelming.  When he finishes the cooking, the mess is a much different scene.  It seems like every bowl, dish and utensil has been used and is sitting on the counter with a million crumbs surrounding.  So even though his food tastes perfectly good, I usually do feel the anxiety and fear of the clean-up that is about to follow.  Because if he did the cooking, it's assumed I get to do the clean up.  Yay!

Some days, I'll get the pancake mix going, set everything up for a perfect execution of a family pancake breakfast and he will literally enter right when I'm about to pour the first pancake onto the skillet.  He pretends he is doing me a "favor" by taking over, but to me, it's stealing my joy.  I just spent all that time setting everything up and waiting patiently for the right temperature and then he pours and flips.  Pouring and flipping is the fun part!

Most days, I do the cooking and cleanup, but on the days he insists on cleaning up...(yes, you guessed....another problem).  What is it about not finishing the job?  He'll get all the dishes into the dishwasher, everything off the table, but leave the pots and pans.  He says he likes to "soak" them.  They don't need soaking.  Just wash them!  And just clean the crumbs off the counter!  I just need to know...does he not see them?  How do you not see all those crumbs?  If I did choose to inquire about the crumbs, or the pots and pans, it's really not a good scene.  I've learned from experience.  Hence, why you're hearing about this right now.  I just need to get it off my chest, but it's just not battle-worthy.  I mean, I get it, he was trying to do something nice, then I criticize and that's just not nice.  But really, is it nice to "clean up" and leave the pots and pans and crumbs for me to finish up later?  (His come back to this is that he does plan on finishing, but just not right that second and how come everything has to be done right away?)  I have just really never been comfortable with procrastination, okay?

Another fun part of our shared household activities is laundry.  He folds a lot (any job that can be done in front of Sports Center or any sports television is the job for him).  Occasionally he'll even put things in the washer and start it.  Do you want to know what the worst part of about doing laundry in a house with five people is though?  It's putting it all away.  It is definitely about time I teach Brielle and Camryn how put away their own laundry, but for now, it's a task that easily takes me a half-hour.  We have three girls who all love to wear dresses, tights and often times multiple outfits per day.  He was just off for two days while I was out working both days, all day.  I finished washing and folding three loads of laundry on Sunday, but didn't have a chance to get it put away.  I was just really hoping I'd come home to an emptied out laundry basket since he just had two days off at home with the kids.  It's as if it was invisible though!  Not touched, not mentioned.  How is this? 

Enter Super Dad. 

He painted the girls' nails today.  I know...how many Dad's paint their little girls' nails, know how to do pigtails and ponytails and correctly put on tights?  Probably not all that many.  He also does a lot of bath times.  And....he gets up at night when someone wakes up.

I know the world is not going to stop turning if I don't get the laundry put away or finish the pots and pans.  And, I can even admit that allowing him a little fun in the kitchen even when it means a big mess and imperfectly toasted English muffins is also a very, very small problem.  In the grand scheme of things, it's a non-problem.

 I think I just wish I got to be Super Dad some days.  On a daily basis, I'm the crazy one trying to get people to piano lessons on time, people to gymnastics on time, homework completed before melt-down hour (when six year old is too tired to write a plot analysis), mouths fed, dishes cleaned, clothes washed, lessons planned, papers graded, permission slips signed...............