It's really never boring around here. We finally put our house on the market a week ago. It seems like we have been talking about doing this for about a year now. So the sign is up and we are listed. We've had three showings so far and a fourth tomorrow (which is a second look). The preparation for showings while having a full-time job working from home and three young children to take care of isn't exactly the easiest task around, but so far I have managed. I know the house doesn't have to be perfect before each showing (especially when they give you four hours notice), but I have learned that there is no in-between for me. I can't walk out of the house until everything is perfect. When I vacuum, I start with the far side of the room and back out so that there is not even a single foot print in my vacuum lines. I'm glad I do this though because during the last showing, I thought the people didn't show up (which really ticks me off) because the realtor didn't leave their business card on the counter. Luckily, I was able to confirm that the showing occurred by the foot prints in my carpet lines upstairs! See, crazy does pay off sometimes, right?
So, the big question is where are we going? I haven't really had to answer this until the sign went up. Everyone is asking, "Where are you moving?" When I shrug my shoulders and say, "Don't know!" I get the funniest looks from people. Could it be because we have three kids, jobs and a very established life here in Chester County, PA? After my answer, I have typically gotten the wow-better-you-than-me-I-have-to-plan-everything-out response. This usually leaves me feeling a little uneasy. I mean, I'm a planner, too. I just don't happen to have one at this point in time. Then I usually have to go through this mental process of justifying why we are doing what we are doing. First and foremost, this home was never meant to be our forever home. This is our "starter" home. I was eight months pregnant with Brielle when we moved in here. We always expected we would have moved within 3-5 years. Definitely before Brielle started elementary school. We always said we wanted to be in a slightly warmer climate and some place new and different from here. Brielle is just about to finish her first year of school and while it has been very smooth and pleasant, we are just not satisfied with the school district overall. And since we are not catholic (and I'm not really an advocate of Catholic Schools anyway), there really are no options. Of course, you can't really tell people this since many of our friends and neighbors send their kids to the local public school, too. So we have been going with, "'We've outgrown our house," too.
So, we do have a plan...it's just not very, uh, specific. Plan is....we sell the house. If by the time we sell, we do not have any promising leads any place else, we simply rent a home temporarily. I don't love this plan, but I guess it's not the worst thing ever either. I'm still working on the part of home selling where you are supposed to "emotionally detatch." We have a nice home, great neighborhood, awesome back yard, nice swing set, etc. The kids love it here and we just have such a nice system. So the idea of moving to a rental...probably a town house, just really bothers me. What bothers me more though is moving and being stuck with two mortgages because we couldn't sell our house. So I'm trying to remain focused on the end result.
I guess selling our house and moving implies that we are unhappy or that something isn't right here. It's really not the case. I guess that is why it's so hard to explain and even process in my own head sometimes. Are we messing with fate? I'm terrified of making a change and then feeling like we made a mistake. I sometimes feel like we are being greedy, even though we are not chasing wealth and fortune.
I am trying to remind myself of two important things. 1. At least Greg and I are on the same page and keeping each other level-headed and 2. We are relatively intelligent people, so I doubt we will choose a new place/job that is not right for us. I always think about how much I will miss this because of what we have, but then I remember that we are looking to improve, so our next place will hopefully bring us even more joy and satisfaction than we already have. Right?
So....big changes on the horizon for us. Just have no clue what those changes invovle just yet! So for the next person that comments on how relaxed I am and how chill I am, they really should read this. I'm so not that way! I have to have vacuum marks, people!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Like Grandfather, Like Grandaughter?
Just when I think I don't want my kids to grow up and become less dependent on us, I realize how fun it is to see them growing, learning and becoming "kids." Brielle is nearly six years old and really not a baby anymore. No more tantrums. No more getting up at night. She is generally very easy to reason with and she has very mature sense of logic.
One of the many things I love about her is her discipline. I can't help, but to think of her Grandpa Bayly all the time. He might be the most discliplined person I have ever known. He really does nothing half-ass. He is so detailed and does not rush anything and does not like to be rushed. I've always been particularly fascinated by how he eats. I come from an Italian family where life pretty much revolves around food. It's generally a priority and always a pleasure. With my father-in-law, eating is last priority and when he does finally stop doing whatever he is doing, he only eats the most nutritious things available. He loves apples and loves to talk about apples from his college town--Cortland. I would not say he is quick about anything he does, but his end product always seems to be top quality---no matter what we're talking about here.
Brielle is so similar---from her pace of doing things and her attention to detail, to her love of apples and concern of nutrition. Last week, I was telling Greg how I read that you should start each day off by drinking a full glass of water. I explained how it is good for your organs. The next morning, Brielle asked for a glass of water. This was an unusual request for her first thing in the morning and after I handed it to her, she said, "Mommy, this is really healthy, right?" She told me how she heard me telling Daddy about how it's good for you. She has proceeded to drink a glass of water every morning since. She always asks me if certain foods are healthy foods or "junk" food. She still enjoys her junk food, but she purposely limits herself. I'll say she can have three cookies and she will say that two is all she wants.
She has started ballet and tap class and immediately became determined. She adores the teacher, she pays attention and tries so hard. She practices every day at home (at her own will and initiation). We didn't see this "spark" in her when we put her in soccer. I would not say she is the best dancer or anything, but I will say she gives it everything she has. She can't wait for class each week and even starts a countdown of days until class every week. The parents have to stay in the waiting area, but I always peak up on her a few times and I tear up every time because of how focused and happy she is. Obviously, I am very proud and really just overjoyed to see her so happy. Her dedication, again, just reminds me of Dad B.
There are other behaviors that I just need to note as well. I am pretty sure most kids her age are like that of a "sponge." She is learning so much in school and in life and is literally starving for knowledge. Around Valentine's Day, she became obsessed with the heart. The red hearts that she draws as well as the human organ. She first started asking questions about how it works, then resorted to watching actual videos on the iPad of a human heart pumping. She and Greg viewed tons of videos and day after day, she requested more. Now, last night, we had our normal bedtime talk before the girls went to sleep. Greg and I take turns laying in their room for a few minutes each night (Camryn and Brielle share a room). Here is how the conversation went last night:
Brielle: Evy and Abby (our neighbors) rhyme, right?
Me: No, the ending sound is the same, but the vowel sound is different.
(There was more explanation on this, but it's not that relevant to the main point of this dialogue)
Camryn: Black and Plaque rhyme, right?
Me: Yep
Camryn: Ladder and Bladder rhyme, right?
Me: Uh yes, yes they do
Brielle: Camryn, "bladder" isn't a word, so that doesn't count
Me: Actually, yes it is a word
Brielle: What's a bladder?
Me: Well, it's an organ inside your body--kind of like the heart
Brielle: What color is it?
Me: I don't know, probably reddish, like the heart
Brielle: What's it for?
Me: When you drink liquids, your body uses up the nutrients it needs, then the rest go into your bladder and that is when you have to pee---to empty your bladder.
(I know, my medical knowledge is impressive, isn't it? Ha).
Brielle: Mommy, I know what I'm asking for for Christmas next year
Me: What?
Brielle: A machine so I can look inside the body
Me: Hm, I don't know if Santa has those or not.
Brielle: I thought Santa's elves could make anything
Me: Maybe....
Camryn: Who makes covers?
Brielle: Who makes people?
Me: Okay, time for bed, girls, no more talking.........
Do normal five-year-olds have this much interest in the body and how it works?
Also, yesterday, Brielle came home with a drawing of a submarine with her as the captain. (So random). She told me she drew that because she wants to be the captain of a submarine. I told her we'll have to go on that ride next time we go to Disney. She snapped back that she doesn't want to go in a fake one--she wants to go in the real ocean. Oh....sorry....sure. Maybe.
Lastly, she tells us on at least a bi-weekly basis that she has no interest in getting married and most assuredly does not want to ever change her name from Bayly.
Ah....I have no idea what's in store for this little one, but I'm pretty sure she's going to do impressive things. ;)
I'll have to give a profile update on Camryn and Kendall soon because they are equally fascinating (to me anyway), but in totally different ways.
In conclusion, my kids are awesome.
One of the many things I love about her is her discipline. I can't help, but to think of her Grandpa Bayly all the time. He might be the most discliplined person I have ever known. He really does nothing half-ass. He is so detailed and does not rush anything and does not like to be rushed. I've always been particularly fascinated by how he eats. I come from an Italian family where life pretty much revolves around food. It's generally a priority and always a pleasure. With my father-in-law, eating is last priority and when he does finally stop doing whatever he is doing, he only eats the most nutritious things available. He loves apples and loves to talk about apples from his college town--Cortland. I would not say he is quick about anything he does, but his end product always seems to be top quality---no matter what we're talking about here.
Brielle is so similar---from her pace of doing things and her attention to detail, to her love of apples and concern of nutrition. Last week, I was telling Greg how I read that you should start each day off by drinking a full glass of water. I explained how it is good for your organs. The next morning, Brielle asked for a glass of water. This was an unusual request for her first thing in the morning and after I handed it to her, she said, "Mommy, this is really healthy, right?" She told me how she heard me telling Daddy about how it's good for you. She has proceeded to drink a glass of water every morning since. She always asks me if certain foods are healthy foods or "junk" food. She still enjoys her junk food, but she purposely limits herself. I'll say she can have three cookies and she will say that two is all she wants.
She has started ballet and tap class and immediately became determined. She adores the teacher, she pays attention and tries so hard. She practices every day at home (at her own will and initiation). We didn't see this "spark" in her when we put her in soccer. I would not say she is the best dancer or anything, but I will say she gives it everything she has. She can't wait for class each week and even starts a countdown of days until class every week. The parents have to stay in the waiting area, but I always peak up on her a few times and I tear up every time because of how focused and happy she is. Obviously, I am very proud and really just overjoyed to see her so happy. Her dedication, again, just reminds me of Dad B.
There are other behaviors that I just need to note as well. I am pretty sure most kids her age are like that of a "sponge." She is learning so much in school and in life and is literally starving for knowledge. Around Valentine's Day, she became obsessed with the heart. The red hearts that she draws as well as the human organ. She first started asking questions about how it works, then resorted to watching actual videos on the iPad of a human heart pumping. She and Greg viewed tons of videos and day after day, she requested more. Now, last night, we had our normal bedtime talk before the girls went to sleep. Greg and I take turns laying in their room for a few minutes each night (Camryn and Brielle share a room). Here is how the conversation went last night:
Brielle: Evy and Abby (our neighbors) rhyme, right?
Me: No, the ending sound is the same, but the vowel sound is different.
(There was more explanation on this, but it's not that relevant to the main point of this dialogue)
Camryn: Black and Plaque rhyme, right?
Me: Yep
Camryn: Ladder and Bladder rhyme, right?
Me: Uh yes, yes they do
Brielle: Camryn, "bladder" isn't a word, so that doesn't count
Me: Actually, yes it is a word
Brielle: What's a bladder?
Me: Well, it's an organ inside your body--kind of like the heart
Brielle: What color is it?
Me: I don't know, probably reddish, like the heart
Brielle: What's it for?
Me: When you drink liquids, your body uses up the nutrients it needs, then the rest go into your bladder and that is when you have to pee---to empty your bladder.
(I know, my medical knowledge is impressive, isn't it? Ha).
Brielle: Mommy, I know what I'm asking for for Christmas next year
Me: What?
Brielle: A machine so I can look inside the body
Me: Hm, I don't know if Santa has those or not.
Brielle: I thought Santa's elves could make anything
Me: Maybe....
Camryn: Who makes covers?
Brielle: Who makes people?
Me: Okay, time for bed, girls, no more talking.........
Do normal five-year-olds have this much interest in the body and how it works?
Also, yesterday, Brielle came home with a drawing of a submarine with her as the captain. (So random). She told me she drew that because she wants to be the captain of a submarine. I told her we'll have to go on that ride next time we go to Disney. She snapped back that she doesn't want to go in a fake one--she wants to go in the real ocean. Oh....sorry....sure. Maybe.
Lastly, she tells us on at least a bi-weekly basis that she has no interest in getting married and most assuredly does not want to ever change her name from Bayly.
Ah....I have no idea what's in store for this little one, but I'm pretty sure she's going to do impressive things. ;)
I'll have to give a profile update on Camryn and Kendall soon because they are equally fascinating (to me anyway), but in totally different ways.
In conclusion, my kids are awesome.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Literature and Life
Well it's almost spring and I'm therefore beginning to come back to life. My daffodils have just started peaking up out of the dreary mulch and we have been outside a few times in the past few weeks, which is truly invigorating. We pretty much do not go outside from Christmas until about mid-March every year. It really does begin to take a toll on one's soul! As much as I love our little life here, I long to live some place where we could be outside all year long. (Yes, I'm longing....so dramatic).
Speaking of drama, the literature lessons I teach to my students year after year continue to get me. I think it's safe to say that I have not only chosen the right career, but also the right subject area. We English teachers take a lot of heat when it comes to school performance, and it definitely sucks at times, but how could any other subject be so important? I get to teach students how to write, how to think critically and how to read. We talk about themes, analyzing character, figurative language....I really do love it. I really do like to think that my students get some important life messages out of the literature we read and discuss. We just finished reading Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl and I cried all over again. My students felt it, too. It's crazy to be reading the words of a real person...someone their age. So full of life and love. The day we finished it in class, I couldn't shake it. I even lost some sleep that night....feeling such deep sorrow for Anne and her family. I just cannot imagine what she went through when she was ripped from her life in the Annexe. I think all this stuff becomes heavier when you have kids of your own. Everything we read in class has so many new meanings for me now that I am a mother.
And that Atticus Finch....what a man. My students were so focused on him as such a hero. It always makes me a little sad because I know that so many of my students do not have active father figures in their lives. I guess I can just hope and pray that by them admiring Attitcus Finch qualities, they may develop some of them...
Of course I have many updates and stories about my three princesses and I'm hoping to have a few more free moments to write in the next two weeks, but I want to close this entry with one more literary favorite of mine. I just love the message here. Enjoy. "Spend all you have for loveliness."
Speaking of drama, the literature lessons I teach to my students year after year continue to get me. I think it's safe to say that I have not only chosen the right career, but also the right subject area. We English teachers take a lot of heat when it comes to school performance, and it definitely sucks at times, but how could any other subject be so important? I get to teach students how to write, how to think critically and how to read. We talk about themes, analyzing character, figurative language....I really do love it. I really do like to think that my students get some important life messages out of the literature we read and discuss. We just finished reading Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl and I cried all over again. My students felt it, too. It's crazy to be reading the words of a real person...someone their age. So full of life and love. The day we finished it in class, I couldn't shake it. I even lost some sleep that night....feeling such deep sorrow for Anne and her family. I just cannot imagine what she went through when she was ripped from her life in the Annexe. I think all this stuff becomes heavier when you have kids of your own. Everything we read in class has so many new meanings for me now that I am a mother.
And that Atticus Finch....what a man. My students were so focused on him as such a hero. It always makes me a little sad because I know that so many of my students do not have active father figures in their lives. I guess I can just hope and pray that by them admiring Attitcus Finch qualities, they may develop some of them...
Of course I have many updates and stories about my three princesses and I'm hoping to have a few more free moments to write in the next two weeks, but I want to close this entry with one more literary favorite of mine. I just love the message here. Enjoy. "Spend all you have for loveliness."
Barter (Sarah Teasdale)
Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.
Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.
Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.
Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.
Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Galloping Hill Road
Around the holidays, my good friend, Jen, was home from Colorado. Her parents still live in the area where we grew up and I always take the girls over when she is home so our kids can play together and we can all can hang out. Even though we (Greg, kids and I) now live in the same county where I grew up, I do not often go any where near my old house. I'm not sure why? I guess because I really don't have any reason to do so. Anyway, there is a Miranda Lambert song that I happen to love and it always makes me think about my old house. So when the girls and I left Jen's parents home last month, I decided to take them by my old house.
This is the house that I came home to from the hospital when I was born. This is where I learned to ride a bike, play piano, play basketball, swim, etc. This is where I left from to walk to the bus stop every day for 14 years (we had pre K). This is where my first boyfriend picked me up for my first date and my first prom. This is where I lived when I graduated from high school. This is where home was when I graduated from college. My room was the window upstairs on the right. When my older brothers moved out, I got the room on the left for a couple years. This was a great home. We were on an acre of land, there was a farm in the distant back of the house, we had a pool, a giant garden and really nice grass. My best friends lived on the same street and we spent our summers catching lightening bugs and digging up worms and our winters sledding down the giant hill behind the McGuire's house.
My parents sold this house just a few months before I met Greg. So when he met my parents, they were living in our beach house while they worked on building their new house in Bethany Beach, DE. I definitely remember feeling weird when I brought him "home" to my parents. I sort of wish he could have seen us all in this home for at least a little while. I have such great childhood memories and for some reason, I still dream about this house a lot. I have the most vivid dreams where I can just feel the kitchen floor on my bare feet. I can still hear the sounds of closet doors opening and my mom singing in the kitchen. Everything about this house is just so deeply carved in my memory and even if I don't think I am thinking about it, I guess I am because I dream about it constantly.
I never really felt too much sadness when they left because they at least moved to our other hometown---Bethany, where we spent our summers since I was in the 7th grade. So, I do feel like their new home is my home, too, but nothing replace this home. This is the home where my Mom was the happiest ever. It's the home where my Dad was active and busy. I guess I just feel like the parents that shaped me and raised me are still in that home and not so much in the Bethany house. My children's grandparents live in Bethany Beach. My parents lived here, on Galloping Hill Road.
Anyway, here are the song lyrics to add to the melodrama of my post:
"The House That Built Me"
I know they say you cant go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Start Spreadin' the News...
I have always been a huge Broadway fan. Ever since I saw my first musical - Cats - I was hooked. I went for an 8th grade field trip and the rest is history. I managed to see one or two more musicals before I turned 16, but once I turned 16 and could drive, I would go to any live production possible. I frequented a dinner theatre in Wilmington, Delaware all the time. I would recruit a friend or two and actually sneak into the dinner theatre to watch the show. We would even sneak a cream puff from the dessert buffet once in awhile. As I type this, I am realizing what a nut I was! The dinner theatre was usually full of elderly people, but I didn't care...I just loved the shows. I probably saw Singin' in the Rain 10 times. I was also big on the Fiddler on the Roof production as well.
As I got older, I decided to ditch the local theatres and start taking advantage of public transportation and head to NYC. I could easily go to NYC for the day for less than $100 bucks and see a show. I would drive to 30th Street Station in Philly. Take the Septa train for $7 to Trenton, NJ. There, I could take the NJ Transit to Penn Station, NY for $14. Once in the city, there was a stand called TKTS, right in the middle of Times Square, that sold that day's open seats at all the local broadway and off-broadway shows. They were about 40-50% off the ticket face value, no fees. We always ended up with awesome seats, too. I didn't always take the same friend with me. Really, I would take whoever would go with me, but it was never hard to find someone to go. I used to save all the Playbills from the shows and practically study them afterwards. My CD collection was primarily Original Broadway Cast albums. No clue how I got into this, but it's still a passion today and I want to expose my kids to the performance arts as well. I was never a performer, but just really, really love all aspects of theatre. I tried to major in theatre in college, but my Dad said I was on my own if I chose that for a major. Bleh!
Anyway, fast-forward to life now. I thought it was high time my girls met the Rockettes. Not to mention, Brielle had been begging to see the Statue of Liberty for the past six months. I found a great deal on Radio City tickets a couple months ago and have been counting the days in my head since I bought them. My musically-retarded, jock (and very sweet) husband has grown to accept my passion for the arts over the years. He has been taking me to shows every since we lived in LA over ten years ago. Super sweet because I'm not sure how much he enjoys shows where people break out into song and dance. Anyway, he took over the logistics part of the day trip----the transportation, schedule, maps, parking, etc.
We were all set as Thursday was coming to an end and we were preparing for our day on Friday. I get a call from the school nurse at 2:00 p.m. telling me that Brielle has just gotten sick in her classroom and wanted to know if I wanted to come get her or if she send her home on the bus. WHAT? Brielle is NEVER sick. Like ever. And the stomach flu has been ripping through families all over the for the past few weeks so my first thought was that Brielle would be fine by the next day and Camryn would probably be throwing up and our trip was going to be ruined.
Well, we get B home, she had a fever...went to bed early and we just prepared for the worst. We brought extra outfits, plastic bags, medicine, etc. I was not letting this get in the way of my children's introduction to the Big Apple. Luckily, no one got sick during our trip. Brielle was a little lethargic, but she made it through. It's been a few days and Cam still hasn't gotten it *knock on wood.
We decided to just drive so we could totally be on our own schedule. The only traffic we really hit was at the Lincoln Tunnel, which was to be expected. It was a nice day out---clear skies anyway. We had to bundle up in hats and coats, but that is only appropriate when going to NYC during the holidays. On the way there, the girls watched their Barbie DVDs and Greg and I didn't fight about his driving once (this is when I knew it was going to be a great day). As we got closer to the city, Greg started speculating about how long Camryn, who is only three, would last during the 90 minute show. I said, "Don't you worry, it's the Christmas Spectacular! It's spectacular and entertaining the entire time!" (Yes, I may have seen it a few times). Greg retorted, "Well, you're a little fanatical about this kind of stuff and when I say a little, I mean...crazy." Me, crazy?
Well, we arrive in time to park, have a quick breakfast and get into our lower mezzanine seats ten minutes before the 10am showing began. The seats were perfect. The show began and the girls' mouths were wide open. The show began with Santa Claus and the rockettes dressed at reindeer. The even added a 3D component to the show, so it was really spectacular. Sure enough, about ten minutes into the show, Camryn leans into me and says, "Mom, all I really want is a soft pretzel. Is this almost over?" Are you kidding me? That's it? Ten minutes, Cam? Sheesh. I told her after the show, we would get a soft pretzel. The next 80 minutes of the show was great, despite Camryn's ants-in-her-pants behavior. She went back and forth from her seat to my lap and probably asked for a soft pretzel about 10-15 more times. At one point, I could just tell she had to use the bathroom, but I wasn't going to ask because I was hoping she'd make it through. Finally, she leans into me and says, "Uh Mom, do I need to go the bathroom?" And I said, "I don't know? Do you??" She goes, "Yes, I think I do." UGH. I just gave Greg the gesture and he took her.
I look over at Brielle who was completely mesmerized up until this point. This was the part of the show when the Rockettes came out dressed as toy soilders (very iconic). We previewed it on YouTube.com before going. Suddenly, Brielle starts crying and could not even watch because she was so upset about Camryn missing it. I tried to assure her that Camryn would be right back (and considered telling her that Camryn could care less about the show at this point), but it didn't matter. She was not happy until Camryn and Greg got back from the bathroom. Luckily, they caught the last few minutes of that segment and everyone was happy again. Had to note this to document how much Brielle loves her little sister. She is so selfless.
After the show, we made a beeline for one of the hot dog stands and got the girls gigantic soft pretzels. We made our way over to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, the ice skating, etc. We spent about an hour in the American Girl Doll Store. I can't even find the right words to describe that place. The girls have a few American Girl Dolls thanks to their rich uncle Michael, but of course they wanted more when there. We were able to appease them somehow with the $7.00 American Girl Doll brush. Their dolls are in great need of some hair maintenance. Next, we hit Bryant Park, which was really cool and very much like a mini-Rockefeller Center. We took a rest at the New York City Public Library and read some books. The girls were getting super tired by this time and we decided to just grab a quick bite to eat and hit up the Statue of Liberty on our way out of town. We promised them we'd take them over to the statue on our next trip to the city and they were fine with just viewing it from Battery Park City, which is where Uncle Michael used to live.
We had a great day from beginning to end. Can't wait to do it again when Kendall is a few years older!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Crossroads
I feel as though I may have just recently made it through (over?) a crossroads that I was not even aware I was on. Having had Brielle in my (late) twenties, I was still able to maintain a moderately social lifestyle. Hence the keg stands I did at her 1st Birthday party. I still had tons of friends with no kids...many not even married. I went out a lot and still had a decent amount of time to focus on myself. Things definitely slowed down even more after having Camryn, but still, I managed to keep a decent balance of social life ("me time") and parenthood. Now, I am not sure if things have just changed because of having a third child or if it's because the other ones are now doing stuff that requires more of a schedule outside of the house. Or, because I am 34 now? I really don't know. What I do know is that I have recently realized and accepted that I am now a Mom. Like, a full-fledged Mom. You'd think getting a mini-van would have been the light bulb moment for me, but it wasn't. I embraced my mini-van the same way I did skinny jeans. Wasn't 100% confident about it, but just did it and didn't look back. Anyway, I think I may have been at a crossroads for a long time trying to figure out who I am. I guess I was just moving very slowly....very direct and decisive, but just moved slowly through a very big intersection.
I've made it past and I like this side of things. It's all about perspective. I used to keep my fingers and toes beautifully polished. Working out was never even an option. When I was invited any place for any social engagement, I rarely declined. I NEVER left the house without mascara. I'm not a very high maintenance girl...he-hem...I mean WOMAN, but I had some things that were just non-negotiables. I'm not a slob now, but let's just say my nails are almost always bare and my mascara lasts a looooong time. I have realized that exercising is only going to get done if I create the time to do it, which means 5:30 a.m. And 5:30 a.m. never used to be that bad to me, but now that I go to bed totally exhausted, 5:30 a.m. hurts. After a week of it, I did get used to it thankfully.
Every now and then I get the itch to do something out and about sans kids. Girls night....a relaxing few hours at the bar....a shopping spree....anything. Yet, I find that every time I do anything, a little goes a looooooooong way. I'm cool with just two glasses of wine now. After the mall or Target or any type of shopping, I start to just yearn for my home and my kids. Even though between 3:15 pm (when Brielle gets off the bus) and 7:30pm (when the kids go to bed) are the craziest freaking hours of my day....I've grown to love them. I love my kids, but those are trying hours. Especially when we have to be some place for a practice. Someone is always whining, crying, fighting or pooping. There is always that challenge of cooking something that everyone will eat for dinner, too. I used to have two friends that would always call me around 3:30 / 4pm to check in. I have noticed they have stopped calling me at that time because I'm sure they grew tired of hearing me scream at the kids in the background.
When I was out last weekend with a few girlfriends, one girl that I used to hang out with a lot told me, "Three changed you." That hit me hard, but I was not offended. After I pondered the comment for a few days, I decided that I loved it. She is right. I have changed and it feels great. It's not even anything majorly significant or different. It's just a new mindset. A new acceptance. Being a Mom is such a privilege and honor and all I really want to do is be a really good one. I'm shaping people over here and it is not a job to be taken lightly!
I'm totally okay that my Saturday morning trip to the grocery store (alone) feels like free time. I'll obviously still try to maintain a basic level of cool, but I think my Forever 21 days will have to be just a fond memory. I'm also pretty certain these are the years I am going to miss most when I get old.
I've made it past and I like this side of things. It's all about perspective. I used to keep my fingers and toes beautifully polished. Working out was never even an option. When I was invited any place for any social engagement, I rarely declined. I NEVER left the house without mascara. I'm not a very high maintenance girl...he-hem...I mean WOMAN, but I had some things that were just non-negotiables. I'm not a slob now, but let's just say my nails are almost always bare and my mascara lasts a looooong time. I have realized that exercising is only going to get done if I create the time to do it, which means 5:30 a.m. And 5:30 a.m. never used to be that bad to me, but now that I go to bed totally exhausted, 5:30 a.m. hurts. After a week of it, I did get used to it thankfully.
Every now and then I get the itch to do something out and about sans kids. Girls night....a relaxing few hours at the bar....a shopping spree....anything. Yet, I find that every time I do anything, a little goes a looooooooong way. I'm cool with just two glasses of wine now. After the mall or Target or any type of shopping, I start to just yearn for my home and my kids. Even though between 3:15 pm (when Brielle gets off the bus) and 7:30pm (when the kids go to bed) are the craziest freaking hours of my day....I've grown to love them. I love my kids, but those are trying hours. Especially when we have to be some place for a practice. Someone is always whining, crying, fighting or pooping. There is always that challenge of cooking something that everyone will eat for dinner, too. I used to have two friends that would always call me around 3:30 / 4pm to check in. I have noticed they have stopped calling me at that time because I'm sure they grew tired of hearing me scream at the kids in the background.
When I was out last weekend with a few girlfriends, one girl that I used to hang out with a lot told me, "Three changed you." That hit me hard, but I was not offended. After I pondered the comment for a few days, I decided that I loved it. She is right. I have changed and it feels great. It's not even anything majorly significant or different. It's just a new mindset. A new acceptance. Being a Mom is such a privilege and honor and all I really want to do is be a really good one. I'm shaping people over here and it is not a job to be taken lightly!
I'm totally okay that my Saturday morning trip to the grocery store (alone) feels like free time. I'll obviously still try to maintain a basic level of cool, but I think my Forever 21 days will have to be just a fond memory. I'm also pretty certain these are the years I am going to miss most when I get old.
Monday, October 29, 2012
The semi-calm before the storm!
Tropical storm Sandy is on her way! There is a certain kind of excitement that inclement weather always brings. The vibe lately has been similar to the vibe before a big snow storm. Schools and businesses are shut down and we are all home together, enjoying the down-time. However, we still have power!! I remember the tropical storm that left us powerless for 48 hours last year...totally not fun! I am not sure where to focus my worries....either with both sets of our parents who live AT THE BEACH AND REFUSE TO LEAVE or with us....way more inland, but also at the top of a hill. Our house feels like it is going to blow over on moderately breezy days, so I am terrified thinking about the winds that we are expected to get tonight. Well, I think we are as prepared as we can be for now. So we just wait and see...
Lately, I have been losing sleep over the horrific news stories around the area. I go back and forth between the 10 month old baby and grandmother who were murdered in King of Prussia (a couple towns over where my sister-in-law Kristin lives) and the family in NYC who lost two of their children to stab wounds from their trusted Nanny. I keep replaying the scenarios in my mind just wondering what the families are doing right now. When I put myself in their shoes, I try to figure out how I would even be able to continue breathing. I don't know if stories in the news have become worse and worse over the years or if this new, intense level of empathy is something that accompanies parenthood in general. I feel like with each new addition to our family comes an added layer of worry. I don't think it totally consumes me, but I feel like I have to constantly pull myself out of it so it doesn't take over. I know it's out of my control. Accidents, illnesses, crime....not a whole lot I can personally do to stop it. My friends and co-workers all think I am so easy-going, relaxed and calm. I really don't know how I put up this front! Greg knows I am a mess, but I seem to have many others fooled. My dentist can certainly see the stress in my teeth / gums! I wonder if I am going to bite right through my overpriced, custom-made bite guard (in my sleep) one of these days.....
Hopefully this storm goes easy on us and we can get back to the normal craziness of our every day lives. The girls have been counting the hours until Halloween and we are still trying to figure out our next move as a family. We decided that step one is getting out of our house, so we hope to be ready to put a for sale sign outside soon. We haven't gotten to step two yet, but I'm sure I'll be talking about it sooner or later!
Lately, I have been losing sleep over the horrific news stories around the area. I go back and forth between the 10 month old baby and grandmother who were murdered in King of Prussia (a couple towns over where my sister-in-law Kristin lives) and the family in NYC who lost two of their children to stab wounds from their trusted Nanny. I keep replaying the scenarios in my mind just wondering what the families are doing right now. When I put myself in their shoes, I try to figure out how I would even be able to continue breathing. I don't know if stories in the news have become worse and worse over the years or if this new, intense level of empathy is something that accompanies parenthood in general. I feel like with each new addition to our family comes an added layer of worry. I don't think it totally consumes me, but I feel like I have to constantly pull myself out of it so it doesn't take over. I know it's out of my control. Accidents, illnesses, crime....not a whole lot I can personally do to stop it. My friends and co-workers all think I am so easy-going, relaxed and calm. I really don't know how I put up this front! Greg knows I am a mess, but I seem to have many others fooled. My dentist can certainly see the stress in my teeth / gums! I wonder if I am going to bite right through my overpriced, custom-made bite guard (in my sleep) one of these days.....
Hopefully this storm goes easy on us and we can get back to the normal craziness of our every day lives. The girls have been counting the hours until Halloween and we are still trying to figure out our next move as a family. We decided that step one is getting out of our house, so we hope to be ready to put a for sale sign outside soon. We haven't gotten to step two yet, but I'm sure I'll be talking about it sooner or later!
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